there is thunder and lightning in Paris today.
the sky is restless.
the winds are impatient.
the trees are full of questions.
as am i.
where are you?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
let’s hug
he asks me everyday if i have written something about him.
he wants me to write poetry about him.
he wants me to write stories about us.
he thinks everything i write is about him.
if only he knew,
that when he looks at me,
he leaves me speechless.
now, how can i speak about being speechless ?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
if the question is wrong, the answer will be too.
do you know
what it is
to be jealous?
take a mirror
and look at yourself
think of what he said
and if you turn your eyes away,
you will know what it means
to be wanted
and yet
to be told
about what she wanted.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
“i like being niais with you”
i loved you.
and you left.
now, i know what’s right.
p.s. did you notice the past tense?
Friday, May 9, 2008
“i’ve seen all the museums”, she said to him at breakfast.
he looked up from his newspapers, wondering vaguely if he should ask her now or later at dinner as he had planned.
“what do you mean?”, he asked, curious.
He always loved how she started a conversation with half of it already finished in her head. It had been one of the reasons he had fallen in love with her. The first thing she had ever told him was, “I hate the rain. It should only rain when we are sleeping.” He pulled himself out of his thoughts as he sensed that she was going to speak.
“I’ve seen all the museums”, she repeated. “I’m done with Paris. I want to leave. There is nothing for me here.”
He looked at her. She held his gaze.
“I am here”, he said and immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say. She said nothing as if knowing that he would rather say something else instead.
”I was going to ask you to marry me tonight”, he said. Suddenly even before she could answer, he knew he had lost her. As she sat there quietly sipping her lemon tea, he realized that she was not going to marry him and he might probably never see her again.
“Marry me”, he said and placed the ring on the table, between them. It was as if she knew that there would be a gleaming white diamond placed there when she had chosen the sparkling white tablecloth that morning. The sun bounced off the ring, making it almost obscene in its beauty. She looked at it and looked up at him. He held her gaze. She lifted the ring from the box and placed it quietly on her finger. It fit perfectly. Just like when she had bought him pants for his birthday.
She continued to sip her tea and eat her breakfast. “For a minute there, i thought i had lost you”, he said, smiling and turning back to his papers.
“You did”, she replied. “And so did Paris, for that matter.”
Monday, April 21, 2008
he asked me if i wanted a kitten of my own.
i said, “i do.”
Thursday, April 17, 2008
once upon a time
3 hours a week. supervised visits. restraining orders. he had to be told to stay away. she had been just approaching her 7th birthday when he had been asked to leave. when she turned 7, he had bought her a packet of chocolates as present. when she turned 13, he had bought a red bunny. when she became a woman, he had bought her a pink doll. when she turned 18, he offered her a lace handkerchief.
he goes home and cries because he doesn’t know her enough to buy her the right presents. he cried into his pillow late into the night. he cried because she accepts each of them with the same smile she gave him when he had left. with the same hope that he is coming back.
today she got married. he had decided to buy her a bunch of flowers. but, he had been full of doubt. all girls like flowers, so his daughter would like them too. but would she really? is she a tomboy? will she be wearing sneakers under her wedding gown? no, she is a lady.
he had seen her for a total of 176 hours in all her adult life. he didn’t know what her favourite colour was. there had never been enough time for that. but he knew her. he was sure of it. when she had looked up at her tall mother, who had refused to acknowledge age, and said, “i invited him.”, he knew that she had been counting the hours too.
Monday, April 14, 2008
past, present, future
when i hold his hand,
he says,
“i used to walk with my mother like this.”
when i touch his face,
he says,
“this reminds me of my teenage years.”
when i kiss him,
he says,
“this is what my ex-girlfriend used to do.”
but when i enter him,
deep inside,
he says nothing at all.
evidently speech is not for moments of weakness.
Friday, April 11, 2008
one of the funniest things i’ve seen
a stupid looking guy wearing a t-shirt that says “under construction”.
like a certain Crouching Tigress would put it, “bwaahhahha”.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
yes, he touched me.
he touched me there.
