http://thefirewillconsume.blogspot.com/

drop by.

“if i stop lying, i’d just disappoint you.” 

He knew she would come tonight. when michael mentioned it, he told him to shut his face. but he was hoping she would show up. although he knew it would probably be another meeting just like all the ones before. 

he wanted to tell her that he cared. and that he didn’t want her to leave. not that it would really make a difference. but maybe she would change her mind if she knew he cared. or maybe she would look at him, deep in his eyes, like she always did and walk away once more. 

he started wiping the glasses. the wine glasses for the first-timers, vodka glasses for the poor ones, champagne glasses for the desperate ones, beer glasses for the hypocrites. he had worked at the bar for sixteen years. he knew them all. he knew what they would order when they walked in. there would always be one who was new and he could not figure out immediately perhaps. but they were all there to be what they were not. they would all come  hoping to escape something that was beyond their understanding. 

he finished with the glasses and started filling the freezer. routine was his only companion. Check the ice-box. arrange the bottles, clean the bar, sweep up, toilet paper. It was around 10 when he had finished. Michael came in. He pulled out his CDs and got to work. He was the DJ. Not that the bar needed a DJ. Hardly anyone danced. 

The bar was slowly filling up. Around midnight, it started to get noisy. He kept himself busy. There was something in the air that told him that there would be a fight tonight. No sooner had he thought it did he hear a bottle crash to the floor behind him. He jumped over the counter immediately as Bruce arrived on the scene too. They threw both the men out with the girl running behind them and weeping only as a drunk woman can. He returned to the counter after giving Bruce a nod. Bruce was not new to bar fights. He had seen it all. 

More people were coming in. The music was getting louder. It was around 5 in the morning when the place was almost empty save the few who were wondering what they were doing there. He closed up at 6. Bruce and Michael waved him their goodbyes and left. 

He decided to get drunk. He sat at the bar and mechanically drank from every bottle there was. He passed out a few hours later. He never found out that she had stood outside and knocked on the heavy door until the tears had stopped coming. 

sometimes, fantasies that come true can be extremely disappointing.  

when a man loses his sight, there are some things that just become impossible to do. like passing thread through the eye of a needle. or telling someone how beautiful she is.  

he said, “i will give you a land where love is the law and where you shall be queen.” 

How could the Buddha have understood suffering if he did not see his wife when he left her? 

i have overdosed on you.