he asked me if i wanted a kitten of my own.
i said, “i do.”
Monday, April 21, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
once upon a time
3 hours a week. supervised visits. restraining orders. he had to be told to stay away. she had been just approaching her 7th birthday when he had been asked to leave. when she turned 7, he had bought her a packet of chocolates as present. when she turned 13, he had bought a red bunny. when she became a woman, he had bought her a pink doll. when she turned 18, he offered her a lace handkerchief.
he goes home and cries because he doesn’t know her enough to buy her the right presents. he cried into his pillow late into the night. he cried because she accepts each of them with the same smile she gave him when he had left. with the same hope that he is coming back.
today she got married. he had decided to buy her a bunch of flowers. but, he had been full of doubt. all girls like flowers, so his daughter would like them too. but would she really? is she a tomboy? will she be wearing sneakers under her wedding gown? no, she is a lady.
he had seen her for a total of 176 hours in all her adult life. he didn’t know what her favourite colour was. there had never been enough time for that. but he knew her. he was sure of it. when she had looked up at her tall mother, who had refused to acknowledge age, and said, “i invited him.”, he knew that she had been counting the hours too.
Monday, April 14, 2008
past, present, future
when i hold his hand,
he says,
“i used to walk with my mother like this.”
when i touch his face,
he says,
“this reminds me of my teenage years.”
when i kiss him,
he says,
“this is what my ex-girlfriend used to do.”
but when i enter him,
deep inside,
he says nothing at all.
evidently speech is not for moments of weakness.
Friday, April 11, 2008
one of the funniest things i’ve seen
a stupid looking guy wearing a t-shirt that says “under construction”.
like a certain Crouching Tigress would put it, “bwaahhahha”.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
yes, he touched me.
he touched me there.
Monday, April 7, 2008
paris for strangers
in the cafés of bercy village,
on the statues of jardin de luxembourg,
on the doors of the golden arrow,
through the bedroom window, in the middle of the night,
all around the eiffel tower,
even on the musicians of montmartre,
it snowed today.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
“when somebody says i stopped missing you, there is nothing you can really say to change that.”
if i see you again, i might not say i love you.
but i will say that i never stopped missing you.
when i see you again……
killing your roommate
(based on a true story)
i decided to kill my roommate. my motives may not have been entirely justified but i have not heard of a murder been committed with perfect motives. my roommate refused to shut up. she was always speaking. she talked about nothing worth listening to and it drove me crazy. especially in the morning. there is nothing more i enjoy than drinking my coffee in a silent house early morning with the silence being the focal point. but my roommate refused to comprehend this concept. or even be respectful of it. so i killed her. she is dead now, may her soul rest in peace. or piece, i should say. you see, i pushed her out of the window of our 8th floor apartment. i must say that she didn’t really make too much of a mess when she landed, considering that she is the messiest person alive….. dead actually. she screamed and then abruptly went silent and then just lay there.
you may want to know how is it that i did not get caught or blamed for the murder. i told them that it was suicide. maybe i should explain the plan a little clearly. i was all dressed up to go out. and the weather in Europe allowing me to wear gloves without being suspicious. i went up to the window and looked out. then, pretending to be surprised at what i saw, called her to the window to take a look. she conveniently put up one her knee on the sofa to hitch herself up and i just had to haul her up by the leg and then let go. as easy as that. so i ran downstairs and exited the building through the other exit, far away from the main entrance where she lay. i calmly walked out and realised that there was a crowd gathering. so i walked up to the crowd, pretending to just be returning home, and asked them what the fuss was about. then i saw her and acted shocked and started crying. i’m a good actress, so this was not a problem. i even did some shouting, telling people to call the police. i knelt on the ground next to her, took in my arms and cried my heart out. was extremely convincing considering that the police didn’t even bother asking me where i was coming from. not that i did not have an alibi. i had been out the entire morning and there were people who could say that i had been to see them.
then came the part of having to tell the parents, deal with the shock and the sadness and the grief. i was, of course, very much there for them the whole time and they don’t suspect a thing. and now, i am glad to say that the mornings are quiet and peaceful, just like i want them. the parents in fact, insisted that i stay on in their former daughter’s apartment for the rest of my stay here so that i can keep her memory alive. i’m still grieving of course, as are they. in fact, i hear the doorbell. here they are now. i have to g ….
